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Pigeons and puddles

All in a day’s work for a toddler! 

A couple of weeks ago baby G discovered pigeons on the walk back from town (we’d been out for our anniversary lunch)

Oh how he loved them! Such a simple thing bless him…..he loves chasing the cats in the garden but unfortunately they’re a bit too quick for him and often disappear before he gets anywhere near them.

Pigeons on the other hand go at exactly the right speed! Quick enough for him not to be able to catch them, but just slow enough that he maintained his interest and excitement. It was an added bonus that they were walking in the same direction as our house!

Then today I saw him eyeing up a puddle out of the corner of my eye.

We’d just got to nursery and I was putting his coat on as it had just started to rain. I saw the look of glee in his eyes and he started to do his running on the spot side to side thing which he does when he gets excited.

He’s obviously seen puddles before but never jumped in one to my knowledge. So why was he so excited? I wonder what was going through his mind when he saw it. Maybe he’d overheard the other kids talking about them!

Luckily he got distracted by his toy sheep and the nursery girls opening the door.

I can’t wait for him to start jumping in puddles…..just not on a nursery day without any wellies and when Mammy’s got work clothes on!

Know what our next footwear purchase will be though!

We were watching James Corden on the Late Late show the other night….the one where him and J Lo copy kids doing different dance routines.

She looked like she was genuinely having fun and I started thinking today what it would be like to go back to acting like a toddler.

Not the whole nappy and tantrums thing but just to have the same level of innocence they have, and to take pleasure in such simple things.

Like pigeons and puddles and silly dancing.

Not drunk dancing because most people are still aware of themselves dancing even when drunk, but the type of dancing you might do in your underwear whilst hoovering the living room.

When you don’t think anyone’s watching and don’t actually care if they are.

I often wonder what kind of looks I’d get if I went and splashed around in puddles or ran after birds (without baby G in tow!). On the whole I think people would thing I was odd. 

No matter how happy or carefree I looked whilst doing it, it just wouldn’t have the same reaction as a toddler doing it.

I often watch him and smile to myself as he takes so much pleasure in all the little things that we take for granted.

He loves it when we play silly with him, and pretend to put his nappy on wrong or put his socks on his hands. 

Tonight he was laughing his head off in the bath as he was trying to make me drink his bath water (to which I point blank refused, but he just laughed even more at this.)

It’s so refreshing and makes a long shit day at work disappear in an instant.

I remember playing hide and seek with my Nephew a few years ago after work and it had the same effect.

Can you imagine getting in from work normally and going to play hide and seek with your significant other? Not quite the same!

Becoming a Mammy has taught me so many things, lots of them practical things, but lots of them not so practical.

As much as I love watching him grow, I also love watching him being a baby and discovering all these things that we all enjoyed at one time or another.

Like wearing Nana’s shoes or pulling the cat’s tail. Helping Mammy plant trees and then eating a soil covered ice lolly, just because he could.

It’s taught me to slow down a bit and take a bit of time to look around.

To try and find the fun in the little things. Cos let’s face it, not every day is a barrel of laughs. 

Some days we all wake up far too early and cranky as funk, and on those days I can’t wait to drop him at nursery and get to work. Even though I’m counting down the hours until I see him again it still doesn’t change the fact that we had a crap morning. 

Or he might be ridiculously tired when he gets in from nursery, and we can’t wait to get him bathed and bottled so we can put him to bed.

But then in the morning he’ll be playing peepo with his blanket or standing naked in the window pointing at the cat, and all is forgotten. 

I have to remind myself to forget about the crap stuff and not feel guilty about it, but all the other stuff I love remembering, and it’s brought back some of my own childhood memories again which is just brilliant. Like making “potions” at Nan’s house to heal my injured panda!

Oh to be a toddler again!

Happy weekend guys. Over and out Mammy tugboat xx 

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Making memories 

So it’s been a little while since I’ve blogged! 

In all honesty I just think we’ve been really busy the last few weeks….barely a moment to sit down and recap on the days flying by, let alone do any writing! 

Baby G is getting more and more awesome as time goes on. It’s great watching him learn and play…..always picking up something new.

Just recently he’s started grabbing our hands or clothes if he wants us to follow him somewhere. 

He also remembers so much, like how great Grampy keeps biscuits in the kitchen!

For the first time in ages he napped on me this afternoon…..felt so good to have him cwtched in as we slept on the sofa. 😊 although his hair was sopping wet when he woke up!

Last weekend we went on a last minute trip to Sand Bay in Weston……boy’s first proper trip to the beach! Safe to say he had a brilliant time toddling around on the sand and even got caught by a wave without any dramas.

They allow dogs on the beach all year around there so it was quite busy with dog walkers, but still seemed peaceful compared to the main Weston beach…..although we did enjoy our little walk along the Grand Pier as well.

This month has also seen me have a spa day/night trip away, leaving the boys overnight. Although it felt strange leaving the house on the Saturday afternoon that feeling soon eased and I had a lovely relaxing time with lots of giggles over dinner in the evening.

But it was so nice coming home to them in the morning.

It was just what I needed…..a chance to relax and not be a mum for one night…..which sounds awful but hopefully other mum’s out there will know what I mean!

I still woke up before 6am mind! But could do whatever I wanted for a good few hours…..did loads of swimming and crochet (my new thing) and even had my nails painted!

I need to make more time for me and for us…..just this weekend we went out to a quiz/wine tasting whilst Nana had the boy and it was a brilliant laugh.

I suffered the following day mind but I don’t feel as guilty for going out now as I used to. 

In other news we’ve booked our first family holiday!! I really can’t wait…..a week in France with my 2 favourite people and it’s going to be awesome.

We decided to take the ferry and then drive the other side rather than endure the hassle of flying and then trying to hire a car with a toddler in tow.

Means we can take whatever we want with us and can stop off whenever we want to as well.

The place we’re staying at has donkeys and llamas and chickens to keep baby G entertained along with a swimming pool which should still be warm enough for him to use.

It feels like ages since we’ve had a proper holiday, even though it was only 2 years, so I’m really glad we’ve finally booked it. Roll on next month!

I always meant for this blog to be a way for me to record our memories as baby boy grew up, as well as my thoughts and feelings and hopefully he’ll enjoy hearing about all these things in the future, even if he can’t remember them.

Mammy tugboat xx 

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Our little baby is now a toddler!

Sob!! I can’t believe how quickly he’s growing up!

I obviously knew that this would happen at some point, but it all feels so soon, far too soon.

I can’t remember what he was like as a baby anymore, and that makes me sad. I didn’t think things would become so fuzzy so quickly! 

I’ll never forget the feeling I had when holding him as a baby, or things like his first smile and his first laugh, but how he was on a day to day basis is a slight blur if I’m honest! 

Although I do love Facebook “on this day” for the very reason that it reminds me all the time of things we did, which is great. Even certain things like the “code brown” incident are happy memories, lots of giggles there!

Kinda like an online diary.

The last few weeks he seems to have gone through a bit of a developmental leap or something. He’s babbling a lot more (most recent phrase is something that sounds like pickem pickem pickem!) and just seems to be picking up things so quickly.

He’s getting more and more independent, but is still a bit unsure sometimes. Doesn’t want to hold my hand when walking down the road but still clutches at my skirt when we’re waiting for the nursery doors to open.

The other week I picked him up and he was in the garden. He took my keys from my hand and just turned around and walked to the car….knew exactly where he was going!

And the other morning he walked straight into the room and pointed to the box of animals, wanting to play without so much as a backwards glance at Mammy. 

It’s great that he’s settled so well. We’re so lucky in that sense. But I do have a sad smile on my face sometimes as I realise that he’s coming out of the baby phase now, moving on to bigger and brighter things.

I’ll always have his memory box and our memories 😊

We were over his cousins house last weekend and he was perfectly happy playing on his own for most of the day, but he was watching his cousin like a hawk! When we got back we noticed that he was trying to stack his cups in the right order…..one of his cousins specialities! 

We were up there with some friends and he wanted to go in the garden where 2 of the older boys were playing. It wasn’t long before he was trying his best to run around and doing fake falling over, with the others following him around.

We spent a fair amount of time in the garden last weekend as well, in and out of the paddling pool, but mostly picking up treasures in the garden (stones and pegs) and depositing them in his treasure chest (the trailer for his tractor).

The look of concentration on his face was evident, and he really enjoyed exploring parts of the garden that he hadn’t been to before.

This makes it sound like we have a huge garden, but we definitely don’t! But now that he’s steadier on his feet I’m not so wary of him falling over in the dodgy parts!

I just wish I could freeze time sometimes. When he’s in a good mood he’s absolutely brilliant and we all have so much fun. Like tonight after nursery him and Pops were wrestling on the floor and he was laughing his head off. 

Then we moved upstairs to get ready for bed, and he plonked himself in my lap and started his moisturising routine! 

But then other times aren’t so great, like last night when he was overtired/teething/wind (god knows!) And he just wouldn’t sleep. We’ve left him to have a small cry out sometimes, and he’s settled. Or other times he’s been awake just gurgling to himself and has fallen asleep. But last night no chance! Proper hysterics every time we tried to get him to sleep. 

Eventually he settled, after Pops drove him around for a while in the car! 

But each day is so different, whether it’s good or bad or a mixture of the two on the same day.

Being a parent definitely keeps you on your toes, more so than I realised before becoming one.

Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way….makes life more interesting! 

And on that note I’m back to my wine and crappy TV (some things don’t change 😉)

Mammy tugboat xx 

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Our breast feeding story

I haven’t been on here in a while…..partly because the recent heat has been absolutely exhausting! 

The start of this week was just awful…..baby G was sick Monday and Tuesday nights and then I was sick Wednesday morning…..even resorted to coming home from work, which I don’t like to do unless I’m desperate! 

After a few nights of sleeping downstairs I was so happy when the temperature dropped and we could get back to a sort of routine.

Anyways…..today I read another blog post by “What Katy Did…” about how fed was best, and it got me thinking back to the early days. I tried to comment on it but couldn’t….so decided to bore you with my thoughts instead!

I wasn’t desperate as such to breast feed when I was pregnant, but just assumed that I would.

If I’m completely honest I was thinking a lot about the cost rather than any benefits for baby G! Which sounds awful but there we go.

When he was born all that was soon put to the back of my mind, as even when we were in recovery the midwife said it would be unlikely that I would be able to exclusively breastfeed as he was such a large baby….10lb 1 (a bit of a shock!)

He was on 2 hourly feeds and had to have a certain amount of milk to get his blood sugars up after birth (poor bubba got a bit distressed bless him). So I had help expressing but other than the initial latching I didn’t actually feed him myself for the first 24 hours (formula or otherwise!)

The first night he was at scbu and that’s still all a blur…..it was only on the second day when he was back with me that we attempted breastfeeding.

It went well (I think!) But he still got topped up with formula due to his blood sugars. At first I tried the syringe they give you for the formula, but seeing as most of it ended up over his face or my hands we soon gave that up in favour of the disposable teat.

It wasn’t long before his levels came up (such a greedy baby in those early days!) and so we could relax a bit with his feeding, eventually moving to 3 hour feeds, whoop!

But then he got diagnosed with jaundice! So under the lamps he went. (See my earlier post about how unimpressed I was with that!)

I was so desperate to go home that I strictly abided by the “no longer than half hour out from the lamps” advice……I still needed help getting him latched on and so just didn’t have enough time to get him fed, winded and changed in half an hour.

In my head I thought we’d try again when we got home and had some peace…..he seemed to change ok between breast and bottle, and so I just carried on expressing in the hospital, to keep my supply up.

I was so ignorant of everything that it was only at the last moment that we realised we should buy some bottles and formula! And by last minute I do mean phone calls in the car whilst on the way home from hospital……panic buying at it’s best!

Then there was the panic buying of the breast pump…..I was still determined to give our little guy some breast milk, even though I knew he’d had the best stuff in the hospital. 

Turns out it wasn’t so easy to just “try” breastfeeding when you had a constant stream of visitors! 

So the Internet came in handy as we tried to get an electric pump which didn’t cost the earth (none available for next day, obviously!) But as it happened a manual one worked absolutely fine for me.

I thought we’d cracked it….I could pretty much get away with expressing once or twice a day, and baby G had a combo of formula and breast milk for a good few weeks.

After a while he started drinking more and it got confusing…..expressing the same amount but needing 2 batches to make one bottle rather than one.

I was concerned about the pain if I just stopped expressing but in the end I just did. Luckily baby boy was perfectly happy as long as he got some milk, and also I wasn’t in pain for long.

I thought that I’d be really upset about not breastfeeding, mainly because I just always thought I would. But in the end I think I was pretty happy with how things turned out.

Don’t get me wrong I loved it when he fed initially……it just felt so homely, which I know is a weird description but I can’t think of a better one! Just warm and fuzzy and homely.

But in reality I was actually quite happy that it wasn’t all down to me. 

I don’t know how I would’ve coped if I was the only one who could’ve fed him. 

I can’t imagine being constantly stuck under a baby feeding…….when we eventually got around to it, getting up and about seeing people probably saved my sanity!!

And I do also think it helped us get into a bit of a routine, as we knew exactly how much he’d drunk and when, whereas we didn’t have a clue how much breast milk he’d had.

I guess the whole point of this post is just to say that it doesn’t really matter how your baby gets fed……it’s the fact they get fed at all which is the important part!

I know some mothers who have been able to breast feed easily, and others who have struggled. Some persevered with their struggle for longer than others, and some didn’t but now we all have healthy happy babies/kids.

There’s still so much press around “breast is best” but to he honest I was pleasantly surprised by how little the hospital insisted on breastfeeding being best.

During the parent craft class we went on, they went on about it loads, but after the birth, formula feeding seemed the norm rather than breastfeeding.

There was plenty of help available for new mums or those who struggled with feeding/latching…..I was in there a while so saw a fair few faces come and go!

And a part of me thinks that’s great…..there should be that help available for mums, especially when so many are discharged so soon after birth and could struggle without that advice. 

I don’t however think that breastfeeding works for all, and hate the way that it’s constantly made out to be the best method of feeding.

I wonder how many doctors/midwives could tell which adults were breast fed or not? Not many I expect.

I’m not so secretly an old fashioned mum at heart, and follow a lot of the advice/tricks that my mum used. Butter on bruises etc etc

And whilst I love the idea of breastfeeding and would always try it before giving out to formula, I’d like to think that the majority of parents out there are capable of trusting their own instincts and working out what’s best for their babies.

So, new motto…..”fed is best”!

On that note……over

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Finally over the Pox!

A few weeks ago we got struck down with the dreaded chickenpox…..or at least our little man did.

And trust him to get it during the warmest weeks we’ve had so far this year!

It took a good week for all the spots to come to a head…..he completely erupted in them, almost overnight!

Luckily he didn’t really scratch them too much….the doctor prescribed him Piriton to help with the itchiness which I think helped, but the best thing we used seemed to be Poxclin mousse.

Nice and cold from the fridge really helped soothe things for him.

Now they’re pretty much gone except for a few on his back and belly.

We didn’t even bother trying to get him to sleep in his cot whilst he had them…..he spent the evening with us on the sofa and then it was 3 in a bed for a couple of weeks.

To be honest it was so warm at this point that he probably would’ve woken up in the night anyway…..28 degrees in his room one night bless him!

We think he’s getting back to normal now…..eating properly and not quite so clingy.

He also decided that being ill meant he didn’t have to have his morning bottle…..just the nightime one left now! 

Not quite sure how we’ll get him to go to bed if he drops that one anytime soon lol.

Downside of him getting back to normal is that we now have to try and get him to sleep in his cot again 😣

Proving to be very tricky once he gets past 11pm, and it’s been a very hard week for all of us.

Fingers crossed he’s ok tomorrow night as he’s at Nana and Bamps house whilst me and the hubz are off go karting followed by a meal…….can’t wait!

Hopefully this month we’ll spend less time in the doctors surgery 😉

Just a short update this week……shattered!!

Over and out Mammy tugboat xx 

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What kind of world will you know baby boy? 

What happened in Manchester has impacted me more than I realised.

I can’t read any story line or even blog post about it without tears forming in my eyes.

Baby G is just that…..a baby……well I guess he’s a toddler now…..but he’s still a tiny person.

In my eyes a certain part of him will always be a baby….our baby…..my baby. I accept that.

I can’t imagine him being old enough to go to a pop concert or to a football match, but I know that eventually he will be…..Assuming the kids still do that kinda thing by then!

But I still dread the thought of him going anywhere without us, or without one of his family with him.

I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be a helicopter Mum……I know he’s going to get into scrapes, and into trouble. I know he’s going to fall over, get hurt and that’s fine. 

That’s all part of growing up, and if anything I will probably be the one encouraging him to jump that gap or to climb that extra step.

But I’ve also always imagined that I would always be there to comfort him when he gets into this trouble. I will be there when we have to take him to get his arm put in plaster, or to use the magic sponge when he’s got a scrape on his knee.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I won’t be there for every little thing….but sometimes it will be me, sometimes Pops, or Nana/Nain/Bampy…….someone he knows and trusts, who will help wipe his tears away.

The thing I can’t imagine is not being there if something major happens. I couldn’t picture either being just down the road or hundreds of miles away, knowing that he was in danger but not being able to do anything about it.

I can’t imagine not knowing whether he is ok or if he’s in pain or worse.

But I know that this too will happen at some point.  He will go camping with his friends and not call us, or travel somewhere which doesn’t have any mobile signal. (What did we do before mobiles?!)

These will be the nights that we lie awake just listening out for that phone call or text to let us know he’s ok.

That should be all we have to worry about as parents. We shouldn’t have to worry about all these other things/people which impact us so much.

All these extra things…..terrorists and attacks, and bomb scares.

What I can’t fathom is how the world he’s going to grow up in will be so different to the world we grew up in, and yet be so much more scary at the same time.

When we were young we didn’t have mobiles. In the summer, we used to go out every day all day……sometimes we wouldn’t even know where we were, so how the hell did our parents know!

The thought that a bomb would go off, or that I would be attacked didn’t even cross my mind when I was younger. 

I had no way of contacting anyone if anything did happen, and yet I had a certain sense of freedom at the same time.

I know my parents worried, but they still trusted me/society enough to let me go out and about.

Granted, by the time I started going further a field I had a mobile, which gave that extra bit of security.

I don’t want baby G to grow up afraid of going anywhere because something scary might happen.

I certainly didn’t.

I want him to be free to go wherever he wants, do whatever he wants, and be whoever he wants.

I want him to feel that sense of freedom that I did whenever I went somewhere on my own.

I don’t want him to be scared of his own shadow, frightened to go somewhere or do something because of something which may or may not happen.

Will I ever shake that feeling of dread when he heads off on his own? I doubt it…..my parents still ask me to let them know when I land anywhere, and I’m in my thirties. 

I still get a sick feeling when I haven’t heard that my parents have got to their chosen destination and they’re in their fifties/sixties!

Even though I don’t like it, I know I can’t shade him from everything, and nor would I want to. I don’t want him to be naive and not be aware of the bad things that happen in this world.

I can only assume that there will be more attacks, more threats as he gets older, and yet if they stop him doing what he wants to, then they will have won.

And I don’t ever want them to win.

Time and time again they try, all around the world, and yet time and time again they are defeated by the sheer power of the human race.

That power we have to pull together when we need each other most is pretty spectacular. ……..so go out and be who you want to be baby boy…..show them the inner strength you have.

They will not win.

To coin a phrase…..there will always be goodies and baddies in life…… look for the goodies darling. They are the ones who will help strengthen you when you think that you can’t go on.

When Mammy and Pops can’t be there to protect you, look for the goodies.

What kind of world will you know? I don’t know baby, I don’t know. All I know is that there is no need to worry, because for every extra baddy that’s created, there will be an extra goodie to help fight your corner.

And fight you must baby boy, just as we will fight for you.

Mammy tugboat xx 

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The dreaded chickenpox has arrived! !

After my reflective mood last week I got to thinking about whether I was being the Mammy I thought I would be when I found out I was pregnant.

I had an actual planned blog post for this week rather than my normal ramblings!

And then the chickenpox hit and I thought it may be best to write that other blog when I was a bit less tired and a bit less stressed!!

The week started with such promise. We had a really good weekend even though we didn’t do anything out of the norm. Bit of shopping and went for a couple of canal bank walks.

Baby boy actually gave us 3 nights in a row of almost sleeping through! First time in a good month! Even managed a 2 hour nap in his cot on Sunday as well, whilst I tidied the house and hubz did a bit of diy.

Monday night was not so great but it was ok as I’d taken Tuesday off to get him weighed and have the dreaded jabs.

Tuesday was a bit stressful as he’d got conjunctivitis (again!) But we secured some eye drops and went for his jabs as planned

Although he cried he soon stopped and all was forgotten when i showed him the Bookstart books from the health visitor.

Everything was fine, and we managed to scrape together homemade lunch and dinner…..even if he did have to make do with cheese on toast as we were all out of fish fingers…… #solidaritea 😊

Then Tuesday night all hell broke loose! We had proper screaming and he was so warm! His hair was all damp and stuck to his head bless him.

We stripped him off and just popped him in with us. Then the same thing happened in the morning.

Didn’t want his dummy, didn’t want his water, would not be put down at all, and would not stop screaming. 

I even tried taking him into the garden to cool him down before hubz mentioned that the neighbours might not have liked the early wake up call! 

Assuming it was a reaction to the jabs we called in back up in the form of the grandparents and were all ready to let nursery know he wouldn’t be in.

But then, after his milk and a bit of Nurofen, he just switched, and was happy chappy again. Playing with his toys and walking all over the place.

I rushed to get him to nursery, assuring them that if he was out of sorts it would be because of his jabs…….

After a chickenpox scare the week before I wasn’t that surprised when we got the call to collect him a few hours later……. (damn you regular nappy changes!!)

This time there was no doubting that he had the pox. Poor bugger.

And before anyone mentions that we shouldn’t have sent him in if we suspected that he had it……He’d seen the doctor the week before, who gave him the all clear. 

And that morning he barely had a spot on him! Just goes to show how quickly it can come on!!

Plus he would have already been contagious the week before…..

So epic Mammy guilt this week. Not only did I take him for his jabs whilst he had conjunctivitis, but also whilst he had chickenpox! ! 

After a couple of rough nights, and a couple of days spent with Nana/Bamps/the doctor(!) he’s now asleep on me, covered in the angriest looking spots I’ve seen in a while. 

He’s stripped right back to try and keep his temp down, and I’m trying to cwtch him whilst at the same time not touching him too much so as not to get him too warm!

We’ve alternated the cwtches the last couple of nights and I suspect for the next few as well.

Fingers crossed he’s on the mend now, and will soon be able to wear clothes again!

In all fairness he’s been so good. A bit off his food, hardly eating anything yesterday, but otherwise still his happy self, if a bit warmer and clingier.

He learnt “uh oh” this week and has had impeccable timing so far, fair play. Drops his dummy behind the bed…..”uh oh”……..drops a snack on the floor……”uh oh”.

It has been a welcome bit of happiness in a crappy week. Even when he’s ill he can still bring smiles to our faces.

So that’s been our week so far! Not quite the one that was planned but I cottoned on quite a while ago that that’s parenthood!

On the downside got to wait another week before we can get him shoes!!

Over and out Mammy tugboat xx